The Latest BIRDY BUNCH News

March 23, 2007: Summary of recent hatchings:

NEST BOX: New Yolk City
FATHER: Marsha Birdy
MOTHER: Icharus
CLUTCH SIZE: 7 (all hatched - earns a purple heart in parakeet parenting!)
HATCHLING 1: ADOLF SHITLER born Mar. 4
HATCHLING 2: SHITNEY SPEARS born Mar. 6
HATCHLING 3: SHITNEY HOUSTON born Mar. 8
HATCHLING 4: BRAD SHITT born Mar. 10
HATCHLING 5: WALT SHITMAN born Mar. 12
HATCHLING 6: BETTY POOP born Mar. 14
HATCHLING 7: C. EVERETT POOP born Mar. 16

NEST BOX: Great EGGspectations
FATHER: Jan Birdy
MOTHER: Cindy Birdy
CLUTCH SIZE: 8 (a new one bird/one clutch egg total record!)
HATCHLING 1: CRAWFORD born Mar. 14
HATCHLING 2: SHAMROCK born Mar. 17
HATCHLING 3: SHEEHAN born Mar. 22 (a heroine in the making)

NEST BOX: Think INSIDE The Box
FATHER: Buzz Lightbeak
MOTHER: Thumper
CLUTCH SIZE: 6
HATCHLING 1: FORREST THUMP born Mar. 12
HATCHLING 2: THUMPLESTILTSKIN born Mar. 14
HATCHLING 3: THUMPTY DUMPTY born Mar. 16

NEST BOX: The Beak Shall Inherit the Earth
FATHER: XL
MOTHER: Flymar
CLUTCH SIZE: 5
HATCHLING 1: Ru-mar born Feb. 20

Total current parakeet population: 35 (for those doing the math, each parakeet poops once every 12 minutes, or 5 times per hour - SO 35 parakeets poop 175 times per hour or approximately once every 20 seconds - THEREFORE I am hereby changing my name to DUMPLESTILTSKIN so that I can spin parakeet poop into gold).

March 21, 2007: ALL FLAGS AT HALF MAST:
A terribly sad sad day for us. Prometheus (aka CAROL BIRDY) passed away this morning, the mother of 16 of our proud flock, just as she was becoming a proud grandmother of 10. She is survived by her mourning husband, BUZZ LIGHTBEAK, and far too many babies to count. We all take solace in knowing that she is now in a far far better place, singing with Elvis. Many thanks for all the magic, Prometheus - you will be sorely missed and never forgotten.

March 12, 2007: How fitting that TODAY, the 30th anniversary of when I purchased my FIRST parakeet (BUDGIE) when i was only 11, is born the first son of THUMPER: FORREST THUMP.
Also, Icharus has hatched 3 more with Marsha Birdy as the father: SHITNEY HOUSTON was born March 8 and BRAD SHITT was born March 10 and WALT SHITMAN was born March 12. CINDY is up to 8 EGGS in total, a new one-bird/one-lay record, no hatchlings yet... For those keeping score the flock now stands 29 members strong. So ends todays chapter of THE BEAKED AND THE BEAUTIFUL.

March 6, 2007: BOY HAVE WE BEEN BUSY!
Prometheus laid 6 eggs, but her nest then got raided by Thumper (who has the hots for Buzz and is VERY irritated that he only has eyes for Prometheus). Thereafter, Prometheus laid 3 more eggs, but I had to isolate her for a few weeks because many of the other birds started attacking her after Thumper weakened her defenses. SO, Prometheus is now in isolation, and lo and behold THUMPER has laid 6 eggs of her own, and Buzz is the daddy. Go figure - Buzz now has 2 wives at the same time. He is thinking of converting to Mormonism. Also, while all of this is transpiring, Flymar and XL made 5 eggs of their own, and 1 hatched - Rumar was born on Feb 20. Also, Icharus laid 7 eggs with Marsha Birdy as the father - 2 have hatched so far: ADOLF SHITLER was born March 4 and SHITNEY SPEARS was born March 6. This means in the space of 2 weeks the venerable WOODROW TIBERIUS BYRD became both a granddaddy (for like the 20th time) and at long last a GREAT granddaddy! But wait theres more!: CINDY BIRDY has laid 7 eggs of her own, with Jan Birdy as the daddy. Should hatch any day now... Other females are also looking egg-ready and we expect production to rise exponentially over the near term. So ends todays chapter of THE YOUNG AND THE NESTLESS.

January 12, 2007: Sadly, MYRRH GRIFFIN passed away in his infancy, but the other 5 are all alive and well, and everyone has now left the nest except for FRANK N. NONSENSE, who seems to really enjoy his mother's company. And OF COURSE, as she must, Prometheus is starting to lay eggs again, found the first new one in the box this morning.

December 15, 2006: Born in the town of Vegas Bethlehem this week:
FRANK N. NONSENSE hatched Dec 13, 2006
MYRRH GRIFFIN hatched Dec 15, 2006
Sadly, the Dec. 11 hatchling did HATCH, but only survived 2 days.
This brings my resident bird population up to 24 just in time for Christmas Eve - pure holiday poetry... SEASONS TWEETINGS TO ALL!
Stocks rising on the news: POOPEATINLIZARDS INC., BEAKBUSTERS LTD., BIRDBEEGONE INDUSTRIES
Stocks falling on the news: BUZZ SANITY PRESERVATION INDUSTRIES

December 9, 2006: MICHELE KWANZAA Hatched this morning - 3 eggs to go!
Stocks rising on the news: POOPEATINLIZARDS INC., BEAKBUSTERS LTD.
Stocks falling on the news: BUZZ SANITY PRESERVATION INDUSTRIES

December 7, 2006: Prometheus went on to lay 4 more eggs, for a current clutch of SEVEN, and they started hatching on Dec 3. So far 3 have hatched: ELFISH PRESLEY on Dec 3, KRINGLE BELLS on Dec 5, and EBENEEZER today. This brings our current keet count up to 20 with 4 in development...
Stocks rising on the news: PLEEZNOMOREPROMETHEUSES, KEETASTROPHES, BIRDFORPRES INC.
Stocks falling on the news: BUZZ SANITY PRESERVATION INDUSTRIES

November 20, 2006: It appears that Flymar laid 5 dud eggs - none have hatched. Taking up the slack, as always, is bionic mommy Prometheus who JUST laid another 3 eggs (again she started before Triskaideka and Icharus were even OUT of her nest). These are odds on to start hatching around December 2. All 4 babies are now out of her nest. 3 of the 4 (ASH LE, TRISKAIDEKA, and BONBONFIRE) look almost EXACTLY like their mommy, the 4th (ICHARUS) is green and black without the yellow striping and head spot. SPECIAL THANKS to JW PET COMPANY - the President of the Company was kind enough to immediately redesign the feeder which cost poor Bobby his young life, AND they even sent me a care package of birdy toys by way of apology. Very nice to come across a company WITH a heart...
Stocks rising on the news: JW PET, PLEEZNOMOREPROMETHEUSES, KEET STUFFERS
Stocks falling on the news: POOP FREE VIEWS

October 28, 2006: Good news and tragic news today. First the good: Flymar is up to FIVE eggs laid, expected to start hatching around Nov. 6. Now the tragic: Bobby Birdy died this morning in a freakish accident. He pulled the top off of a plastic silo type birdfeeder which was more than half empty, and tried to reach the food from the outside by sticking his body into the tube. They are SUPPOSED to eat from the inside tray, but the dumdums seem to prefer eating from the exterior. Sadly, I was not watching at the time and poor Bobby got stuck in the tube and suffocated. Please be sure that the exterior caps are securely fastened if you use such feeders yourself. I found it actually works best to replace the caps with small superballs and wedge them at the top of the tube. The balls are too heavy for the busy beaks to remove them. Bobby has been peacefully laid to rest in the garden under a peach tree, beside his beloved grandmother, Ariel. Bobby was a true miracle bird, for he was actually the 7th born to a clutch of 7 eggs which ALL HATCHED (very rare!). In such situations the 7th bird rarely survives, because one pair of parents has their beaks full trying to feed 6 babies. But in this case it was actually the 6th hatchling who perished on his 2nd day of life, allowing Bobby to survive. Of course IF all 7 had made it, this site never would have been born since I would have named them all after dwarves instead of Bradies. Rest in peace Bobby, we all miss you.
Stocks rising on the news: EGGS ASPIRATION INDUSTRIES, JACKSON5 NAME LICENSING, BIRDTOMB RAIDERS
Stocks falling on the news: JW PET, BOB EVANS, KEEPITUNDER20DAMMIT LTD.

October 23, 2006: It seems as though Prometheus and Buzz had SO much work raising the BUNCH that this time they have decided to hatch only 4 out of their 6 eggs. A WISE move if you ask me:). Taking up the gauntlet, however, Flymar just layed 2 eggs of her own - XL is the father AND her full brother. Woodrow Tiberius Bird continues in his role as grandfather of just about everything in sight with feathers, since he is daddy of Buzz, Flymar AND XL. The action so far in Pro's box suggests that these 4 babies MIGHT all be clones of herself, but it IS far too soon to be certain. Since both Flymar and XL are not only full siblings, but both themselves virtual clones of their mommy, Ariel Xerox , current vegas line on any hatchlings from this pair is 1:9 in favor of clone offspring. The more Ariels, the merrier! Flower (you may know him better as SAM THE BUDGER from the main BUNCH page) has been seen the last few days frantically mating with the felty crest of a stuffed cockatoo which happens to be in the room with him. Too soon to tell if we get any offspring from this coupling - personally I'm hoping for a lifetime supply of free cotton balls.
Stocks rising on the news: GAD ZEUS, INC., HERAldo INDUSTRIES, BROTHER FEATHERDUSTERS, PUTTIN THE COCK IN COCKATOO
Stocks falling on the news: GOOGLE (just because it IS about time), QUIET TUDES, BEAK-B-GONE

October 15, 2006: ICHARUS hatched today . Ebullient mommy PROMETHEUS has only TWO eggs to go! We will do our best to keep young Ichy from flying too close to the sun...
Stocks rising on the news: GOLDEN CHARIOTS INC., SUNBLOCK #500, TOASTED KEETS ON-A-STICK
Stocks falling on the news: SANITY PRESERVATION INDUSTRIES, DAEDALUS LTD., WE THOUGHT ONLY 3 WOULD HATCH, INC.

October 13, 2006: TRISKAIDEKA hatched today . Glowing mommy PROMETHEUS has only THREE eggs to go! THUMPER continues trying (unsuccessfully) with all her might to get BUZZ's attention; Buzz seems to prefer females WITH fully developed tails, and BUZZ only has eyes for his one true love, PROMETHEUS. In a neighboring box, XL and FLYMAR seem to be having thoughts of starting their own brood (AS IF I need MORE birds???)
Stocks rising on the news: BIRD BAKIN MICROWAVES, KEET EATIN LEOPARDS, GARYS FORMAL TUXEDOS FOR BIRDS
Stocks falling on the news: SILENT FARMS, DC COMICS, MARVEL COMICS

October 11, 2006: BONBONFIRE emerged from her shell early this morning. Proud mommy PROMETHEUS is still sitting on 4 more unhatched eggs-in-waiting.
Stocks rising on the news: EXCEDRINPM, BIRDYPAMPERS, BIRD-BE-GONE
Stocks falling on the news: OMELETTE INDUSTRIES, EASTERBUNNY LTD, YOLKPEPPERMINT PATTIES

October 9, 2006: The first of six eggs in the new clutch hatched today. Doting daddy BUZZ LIGHTBEAK and manic mommy PROMETHEUS welcome their new daughter, ASH LE, into the world with open beaks.
Stocks rising on the news: 99CATSFOR99CENTS, POOPEATINLIZARDS, JOHN KEETS CO.
Stocks falling on the news: PEACEINTHEVALLEY INDUSTRIES, POOPPROOFCLOTHING LTD, EGGCEPTIONAL VALUES

September 21, 2006: Two months TO THE DAY after Prometheus started laying the 7 eggs which would go on to internet fame as THE BIRDY BUNCH, today she started laying eggs again (Please Lord - NOT another SIX:)). Amazingly, Bobby and Cindy birdy have not even left the box yet, so now momma is in there sitting on her new egg WITH 2 of her old brood. Father BUZZ LIGHTBEAK was seen scratching his head in disbelief.